Preaching Basics, Part 2 - Kill All Passive Verbs


Abstract:
Is will invite his friends over, and before you know it your paragraph smells like an apartment after a frat party...

Body:
Mr. Palmer, my high school English teacher, would not allow us to have more than one “is” or “was” in a sentence. He would wince as he graded essays, circling each “is” with his red pen. If anyone crammed more than three ises in a sentence, he automatically subtracted a point from our grade. It seemed harsh and unreasonable. Why? Is is such a useful verb.

Is is also boring. Is doesn’t do anything. Is doesn’t sprint, leap, laugh, beg, or dance. Is is what English teachers call a passive verb, a “state of being verb.” Is is an equal sign. He is tall. One and one is two. Boring, boring, boring.

Is shares an apartment with other slacker verbs: are, was, be, has, have, and had. They lie around all day among empty pizza boxes, smelling of old laundry and cheese curls, flipping channels with the TV remote in their hands. They don’t do anything. Line up enough of them in a sentence and a listener’s brain will scamper off to do something more interesting, like sorting their sock drawer. Read through this paragraph to see what I mean:

What is Jesus saying here? Loving our enemies is difficult! Jesus’ words are especially challenging when the world is full of enemies. They are on the evening news all the time: terrorists, foreigners, criminals, secularists - or members of the other political party!

Perhaps, because you are a tenacious reader, your brain didn’t leave by the third sentence. But compare it with a rewritten version and see if it holds your interest better:

Can you believe what Jesus says? Love our enemies! We tremble just to count them all. The evening news chatters about enemies who lurk around every corner: terrorists, foreigners, criminals, secularists - or members of the other political party!

I’ve replaced is saying, is difficult, is challenging, and are on the evening news with more active versions. Rather than saying that loving enemies is difficult or challenging, I’ve shown what the challenge looks like - we tremble. Rather than say that enemies are on the evening news, I’ve chosen the evening news chatters and I’ve made the enemies lurk. We could rewrite the paragraph any number of ways to make it more active.

Try not to let yourself use more than one is in a paragraph. Is will invite his friends over, and before you know it your paragraph will smell like an apartment after a frat party: “The importance of what Jesus is saying cannot be overemphasized; it has held true for all generations.” Kill those verbs before they multiply.

The worst of the passive verbs are the favorite of preachers: should, could, must, need and ought. I call them “state of non-being verbs.” These verbs float like mists through the ether. They describe a world that isn’t, but ought to be. Ought sounds like the ghost king from Hamlet: judgmental, long-winded, and impotent. Should has all the charm of the last lecture you heard from your parents. Since they are both inactive and judgmental, perhaps they should be called “passive-aggressive verbs.”

Sadly, many preachers’ sermons hinge on some simple statements: we shouldn’t do bad things, and we should do good things. We oughtn’t be apathetic or hateful, but we ought to love Jesus. Bad people could be better, but they won’t. These sentences have all the motivational power of a strong sedative. If your sermon can be summed up by one of these verbs, tear it up and throw it away; it is better for you to enter the kingdom with one sermon missing than for your whole body to thrown into hell.

Posted: Sat - December 30, 2006 at 10:00 AM           |

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