Discipline


Abstract:

Cain and Abel. Pietro Novelli, from the Web Gallery of Art.

I've had this article in the clip file so long I've forgotten where I found the link.

Body:
I tend to be a little defensive when people speak about spanking as a form of discipline. I was raised without spanking. I feel I turned out pretty well, although I recognize I may be a bit biased. Others who have been spanked, of course, feel much the same way.

What I cannot abide is when people attribute kids' rotten behavior to parents who "do not punish," where the word punish automatically means spanking. This kind of anecdotal social punditry is shallow and stupid. "I have a friend who lets her kids do whatever they want... and what those boys need is a good spanking." Rubbish.

"The boy is never wrong, is never spanked, and is never made to feel ashamed. Postmodern parents believe, at least until it is too late, that raising children must be easy since the nature of children is basically good," Moore reflects. The word 'punishment' has been replaced by 'consequences' which means that discipline no longer addresses the boy's true character.

As a counterargument to Mohler and Moore, I'd recommend Raising Cain, by Kindlon and Thompson. I'm sure the fact that the authors recognize that boys have emotions might get the book labeled with the "wimp" language that Mohler and Moore use with such relish. But I have this suspicion that bullies have grown used to their roles, and don't give up such language easily. It is far easier to treat a crying boy with contempt, and insult his parents - something that doesn't stop with Jr. High, apparently, since Mohler and Moore are able to expand the notion into an actual theory of parenting.

Posted: Mon - October 24, 2005 at 11:32 AM           |

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